Paranorm getting bent at the Fast and Furious World Premiere
I wanted to bust out an exclusive The Ready Cee Show / Parakhan Spit Hate story about going to the Fast and Furious World Premiere, but the trip was so uneventful that I’m not sure what to say. Red carpet…blah blah…Vin Diesel…blah blah…crazy car scenes…blah blah blah…party…get drunk…blah blah…dip. That’s it. Article done.
What I would really like to talk about in this post is general premiere etiquette and what to expect when you hit the event. Most of you out there have never been to a premiere as most of you don’t live near Hollywood or NYC, so what I would like to do is tell you what to expect and how to run it when you get to go to one. I’m definitely no expert on this topic, but I’ve been ripped at like 30 premieres so if you want to know what it’s like from my perspective…read on.
First of all, you’re most likely going to have to pick up your tickets at will call. This is pretty universal whether you end up at Mann’s, Westwood, or wherever. Always remember to look like you should be up in that shit just in case something goes wrong with your tickets. I’ve been lucky enough to always have people looking out for me, but ticket problems could ruin your entire night. Be cool and things will most likely work themselves out from what I can tell.
When you hit the red carpet, stare at the photographers like they should be taking your picture. A few will snap off on you just in case you’re someone they should be getting…but most won’t do anything which makes for a good game of staring them down. Son those fools. Pap’s are like bloodsucking leeches who get paid to sell pics so when they won’t even waste one digital flick on you…it’s kinda like a diss. Ok, not really….you (and I ) just aren’t stars.
Premiere’s almost always have free popcorn, water, and soft drinks. Grab what you want and don’t be in a rush to get to your seat as they will never start the movie until all the talent has left the red carpet and are comfortably resting in their seat. With regards to seats, there are only so many in the theatre (unless they are running the film simultaneously in overload theatres), so there is a rare chance that you can end up sitting next to one of the stars or other stars attending the event. Most of the time, the organizers have strategically designed the seating chart, but you never know. I’ve sat next to Wanda Sykes (like a midget), a seat away from Cedric The Entertainer, Steven Tyler, and within a row of Will Ferrell. Depending on who it is…I suppose you could get a thrill from housing the armrest from a star or sparking up a conversation. Just remember, it can always backfire on you because the stars trump your ass and can have you ejected pretty quick.
Watch the flick. If the movie really sucks…keep it to yourself as you’re sitting in a theatre of people who worked really hard to put it together. That’s pretty much a no brainer. You’re there on the studio’s dime and no matter how bad the movie is, you’re going to get hammered shortly, so keep it together.
The movie ends and it’s time for the party to get started. yes. Not everyone gets to go to these parties so make sure you don’t lose your passes. There is nothing worse than being forced to go your own way after the movie when you know people are about to kick it at an open bar party with food. Make your way to the party and keep it moving.
The party is generally themed after key parts of the movie…meaning there are usually props or related themes going on. For example, at Anchorman we took pics at the news desk, at Talladega Nights they had tire changing stations and nacho cheese fountains, at the Simpsons they had some setup where you could get a mold of your hand holding a pink donut, at Barbershop 2 they had Oran Juice Jones…ok, he’s not a theme, but fuck…we ran into him and it blew Joey Ocean and I away. Oran Juice Jones was my shit. Anyway, you get the idea. The entire setup is themed after the movie. The only premiere that I recall not having anything was Two For The Money…but Al Pacino was there so they probably figured that was good enough.
Be sure to head for the food, eat whatever looks good, then head straight for the open bar. Depending on the type of movie, the crowd will either stay for a few drinks and split or the night could turn into an all around rager. I remember staggering out of Be Cool, blacking out after The Family Guy, and stumbling out of Semi-Pro, but maintaining ok by the time I left Team America World Police and Mr and Mrs Smith. It can go either way and it’s all up to you.
That’s about it. Have good time, get blitzed, and make it home alive so you can do it all over again.