Tag Archives: TMZ

Nas, Jimmy Kimmel Live, JFK assassination camera phone theory

nasjimmykimmel

Thanks to this site, I didn’t have to take any pictures.  I realize this isn’t the best example, but you see where the theory is going. Not all of the JFK assassination pics were great either.

Another Wednesday night in Hollywood California.  I passed on going to the ESPYs.  I passed on going to see Tropic Thunder. I didn’t pass on going to see Nas again on Jimmy Kimmel.  I caught him the last time he came through (you remember that blues song with his dad?) and it’s only right to go check out NY’s finest again. Checklist:

  • Pre show rum and coke @ Scorpions: Check
  • Green room Corona #1: Check
  • Green room buffet (pot stickers & beef wrapped vegetables and cheese): Check
  • Seeing and chatting with some friends: Check
  • Green Lantern in the Green room: Check
  • Green room Corona #2: Check

When it was time to head out, we walked out and checked out the show from the side.  Nas ripped into “Hero”. Sounded pretty good from where I was standing, but I couldn’t really tell if he was saying all the words or mumbling sometimes.  The live band on the track made it bang more.  The bass player in the band was good.  “Sly Fox” was pretty dope.  I agree that Fox news does suck.  Then the highlight of the set was played…hearing ”It Ain’t Hard To Tell” brings on that feeling of nostalgia  that you can feel in your chest.  Illmatic is one of my favorite albums of all time.  “Made You Look” had intensity and the crowd was into it.  All around, it was a good mini show.  After that…we shook the spot for post show drinks @ Scorpions.  The trip turned into another checklist:

  • Kettle One dirty martini: Check
  • Sip the white sangria: Check
  • Sip the red sangria: Check
  • Corona #3: Check
  • Corona #4: Check
  • Sol #1: Check
  • Tecate #1: Check
  • Feeling bent = Check

Now, let’s get into my newest theory.  Events these days are like the JFK assassination and the grassy knoll…there are a gazillion pictures documenting the event.  I believe there is no longer a need to pull out your camera phone when you’re at a decent sized event as everyone and their mom is already snapping photos.

First I’m going to backtrack one step and talk about the non public part of the event.  When you roll on some VIP shit and hang in areas where there is only talent, worker bees, and agents/managers….nobody wants to see you with your camera out.  This isn’t TMZ.  It actually feels awkward to have your camera out in those situations anyway.  Hope that makes sense.  Now on to the regular portion of the event, in most cases, everyone has their camera out and are snapping away like crazy.  This means that they’re going to put the photos on flickr or the internet before you even get to your house.  A quick search the next day and boom…there you are.  Pretty simple theory….to sum it up: There may no longer be a need for you to snap your own photos at a concert ever again.

There are always exceptions to the rule.  This is my Robert Greene “Reversal” section at the end of the chapter. If you have to send a picture immediately as an alibi to prove your location…break the rule.  If you’re in a situation where you see some extremely messed up shit…break the rule.  At the Beastie Boy’s show at the Fonda last year, I was standing next to Tommy Lee and some little weird guy was kissing Tommy’s back and neck and making out with him.  It was fucking creepy and nasty, but I wish I had taken a shot so people would believe me.  A followup search reveals that TMZ caught those fools that night getting it on. It’s also ok to break the rule if you’re in a spot that nobody can get to (a good example would be that pic i snapped on the stage watching Prince at Coachella).  Another exception to the rule would be a situation in which you have the chance to take a picture with a legend…you have to go for it.  I regret not taking a picture with James Brown when I had the chance a few times.  I didn’t want to be that douchebag tugging on his arm asking for a photo after he just ripped a sick show.  Other missed opportunities that I regret:  Jimmy Page & Slash, George Benson, Ahmad Jamal & Idris Muhammad, Metallica, Bill Clinton, and Rev. Jesse Jackson.

Adjust these rules to suit your shit, sit back, and enjoy the show.